I’m taking a break from our regular programming to bring you this news:
My family is fostering a sibling group of 7 (read: seven) puppies. Their mama isn’t feeding them, so we are. Every four hours. These pit bull puppies may look adorable, but please be thankful the internet doesn’t communicate smell. They’re newborns. And you can’t diaper them.
Bottle feeding puppies is hard. So my task during all of this is to convince the family’s 3-legged pit bull to lactate.
And this may or may not be an appropriate time to tell you I killed a squirrel yesterday. With my car. While traveling 55 miles per hour.