Quick-Witted Family

So the comments from my last post, gave some people a glimpse into what it was like growing up with my parents. Just in case you didn’t read the comments, here is a text message conversation I had with my father this evening (complete with typos):

Daddy: yer mean mom never sent the gps. I’ll do it tomoro
xtina: thanks. I’ll need it next weekend*
D: sorry…you want me send the mama day thing** back
x: Nope, she still gets it
D: whatever
D: I think yer trying to suck up to her…what are you fishing for?
x: Love and acceptance. And more blog comments.
D: Love and acceptance are free…
x: So are mothers day presents.
D: You have run circles around me logically
x: Thats what u sent me to school 4 right?
D: no……so you can support me in my dotage
x: Well u shouldnt have sent me 2 temple then. All they taught me was to talk in circles.
D: So go back and learn some other useless crap
x: If u pay 4 it.
D: Nope…run a fundraiser…maybe joe corbi pizza
x: Cheezy bread!
D: you gotta sell a butt-load of cheezy bread to pay  for more school…you better get started

*I don’t need it for directions; my dash won’t tell me the proper speed. I’m trying to exhaust all my options before buying a  new dash.

**Referring to the Mother’s Day present I just sent in the mail.

Those of you who know me personally will see where I get my sense of humor from.

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17 thoughts on “Quick-Witted Family

  1. I’m just wondering if my use of “quick-witted” in my comment on the earlier post and your subsequent use of said totally unique phrase in this post title is considered winning the post title contest???? What was the prize again? BTW-do you want to join me at CG’s when I use my prior winning certificate?

    Your text convo should be a verizon commercial.

  2. I believe that post said “game” not “contest”, but I suppose you win, regardless.

    And yes, CG coffee with Lisa J would be awesome.

    I’ll contact verizon right away, they wouldn’t want to miss this awesome opportunity.

  3. If she wins a non-contest with a comment that she really didn’t write, then I’ll have to file a complaint with the non-contest officials…….all of whom I have paid to rule in my favor.

  4. Daddy! Please use discretion. These are my friends who don’t get your sense of humor. In order to protect myself from Lisa J’s husband, I’ve been force to edit your comment.

    I’d much rather have “the wrath of daddy” versus “the wrath of Al,” sorry.

  5. Dear Daddy of Christina,
    I have not received such non-contest official payoff payment. If you really desire to pay off any non-contest officials to whom you file your non-contest complaint, I would be more then happy to be included in you non-contest official pay-off. However, I must warn you in advance to execting any non-contest official complaint pay-off that I am prejudiced towards your non-contest award giving daughter and non-contest award winner Lisa J. So, the payoff would have to be off great quanity in order to sway my non-contest official vote and any fear of the “wrath of Al J” that I may encounter.

    Sincerely,
    Barb: voluntary non-contest official for pay-off purposes

  6. I’m not sure what’s going on here…Here is a definition of game supplied by Merriam-Webster that infers contest pretty clearishly.

    …(1): a physical or mental competition conducted according to rules with the participants in direct opposition to each other (2): a division of a larger contest (3): the number of points necessary to win (4): points scored in certain card games (as in all fours) by a player whose cards count up the highest (5): the manner of playing in a contest.”

    As far as actually writing a comment – I did so! and it included ‘quick-witted’

    As far as the wrath of Al J. Yeah – you should be afraid, very very afraid! mwah ha ha. But don’t worry, I’ll just take it out on all of you on my blog!!!!

    And I want to read the unedited version, friend.

  7. WAIT ONE MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!! First things first…….. Your Daddy as you call him, never asked me to send the package… He just thought I had ESP and would just send it…Then he sat around all day Saturday morning doing nothing when he thought he would mossy on down to the nearest post office ,,,,just to find out that they close at Noon… So see I did not forget anything…
    But I’m sorry you do not have it for your weekend….
    Thank you again for my gift… Miss you Love you lots … Mom :-)

  8. Oh the gloves are off now!………..Lisa J. consider your face slapped with the gauntlets of afore mentioned gloves! You have been challenged to a duel to the death.

    In 1839, Edward Bulwer-Lytton coined the adage”The pen is mightier than the sword”, so our duel will be conducted with words as opposed to foils, although I prefer flying lead.

    I realize that you did indeed include ‘quick-witted’ in a post. You did NOT, however, originate the phrase, which is what I meant by my rebuttal.

    Barb………….I believe you are over-qualified for the position of non-contest official, but we’ll keep your resume on file for future non-needs. Thank you for your feigned interest.

    CLearish…….give your friends more credit. I’m sure they are well equipped to weather any snide comments I might include. ESPECIALLY considering that the previously deleted entry was added with the love that only a father can have for his daughter’s best friends. BTW, the GPS is now going on EBAY, bid early and often!

    Al J…………bring it!!

  9. P.S. To all of Christina’s friends…..Any and all comments I have made in the past, or will make in the future were and are intended as humor. If anyone takes any offense, then perhaps you should consider curbing your caffeine intake.

  10. May 4, 2008 at 9:03 pm
    Daddy

    Satan is everywhere…..keep your eyes peeled!!
    If your car hates you, it will break!
    When the levee breaks, we’ll have no place to stay.

    May 5, 2008 at 10:02 am
    clearish

    what are these from?

    May 5, 2008 at 8:07 pm
    Daddy

    #1……my brain
    #2……my other brain
    #3……Led Zeppelin

    #’s 1 and 2 are original thoughts and therefore worthy of consideration for entry in the game/contest in question.
    #3 is a blatant attempt at plagiarism thereby disqualifying it, unless you apply the same convoluted rules used to declare Lisa J. the winner.

    con·vo·lut·ed Pronunciation[kon-vuh-loo-tid]
    –adjective
    1. twisted; coiled.
    2. complicated; intricately involved: a convoluted way of describing a simple device.

  11. I thought we’ve already decided that rule-making is my job. You’re reading into rules that I never really established. Here is the original post:

    So I’ve been having a hard time coming up with clever post-titles and would like your help.
    Your goal: Come up with something clever or witty and let me know (via comment or email).
    My goal: I’ll try and post something relevant with your creativity.
    It’s a game and it’ll be fun. I promise.

    First, please draw your attention to “your goal.” I say come up with something clever, not something original. Second, under “my goal” I said I will TRY to post something relevant.

    I purposely left these statements open to interpretation, so no one would feel constrained by them. Daddy, just because I haven’t posted anything yet, does not mean I won’t.

    Actually, I’m half tempted to forget the whole “game” in rebellion to the rules imposed upon the rule-maker.

  12. Christina, my sweet friend, I would never imagine you to rebel!

    Daddy of Christina, I for one would love for you to travel up here to our mountains and visit us….

    Mama of Christina, I am sorry you have had to defend yourself against the GPS accusations. I am glad you became my friend on Face book!

    Lisa J., I am quite anxious to see your response to Daddy of Christina’s duel. I am sure it will be as good as I anticipate!

  13. CLearish, you know I love you more than life, please don’t be so hard on your old man.

    Barb, frankly……your invitation scares me.

    Lisa J. c’mon, it’ll be fun!

    Mama of Christina, although I never asked you to mail the package, I did mention the fact that it needed to be shipped, to which you replied, “I’ can do it.”.

    Anyone, did you know that the American cities with the highest violent crime rates also have the most restrictive gun laws?

    Also anyone, “Tombstone” is one of my all-time favorite movies. So many stars jumbled into a western…..what a concept. Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday has to be one of his top five roles.

    My Flyers lost game 3 tonight……..I think we are finished for this season. Before any of you Canadian friends of Christina start cheering, remember that there are NO Canadian teams left in the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs.

    Lost is the BEST show on tv!!

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