Are there treasures waiting for me in Heaven as a result of this ridiculously random road trip? No. I did learn things of eternal worth, though.
After the novelty of the evening wore off, I found myself disappointed and wasn’t sure why. Why had I been so excited about driving 2 + hours in the snow, hanging out on a college campus and watching a show I’ve already seen (Matt doesn’t have new music yet)? I had fun, I did enjoy the show, why in the world was I disappointed?
I had expectations, I suppose. I didn’t know what those expectations were until after I forced myself to figure them out, but I had expectations about how the evening was supposed to go, and they clearly weren’t met. I had made more out of Matt than he was; I expected a charming, fun-loving ball of energy who was eager to meet the gals who saved his tail.
Not that Matt wasn’t charming, but he certainly wasn’t what I had envisioned. I had somehow, in the mix of all that is Nashville-in-Upstate NY, elevated him to “everything you could ever want in a guy” standard. Not in a romantic, “marry me now” way, but in a “I have the best neighbor in the world” way. When Cassi and I finally met him, he was tired, sweaty and trying to figure out what time his flight for LA left in the morning. So we parted ways and Cass and I drove home.
I didn’t have much time to think about being disappointed on the way home because of the weather, but the next morning I was desperately trying to figure out why I was so melancholy. I had just lived out a tiny bit of fantasy, what could possibly be wrong with me? It wasn’t until I started talking to some coworkers that I realized what was going on in my brain.
Yes, Cassi and I had fun. We didn’t involve ourselves in any sinful activity and we had some great quality time in the car (except for when she yelled at the deer). I was disappointed because we had spent all that time (mostly in the car) having fun and there was no eternal value. There’s nothing wrong with going to a concert and having fun, but I had somehow, subconsciously, elevated all the novelty of the evening to “kingdom of heaven” status and was sorely disappointed. Matt? He’s just another sinner saved by grace. Just another sweaty boy. Excellent musician though.