Instead, he gave me an inappropriate Arabic word. Which I said. Without hesitation. As another Egyptian staff member walked up behind me.

His reaction told me that what I had just said was not what I was looking for in my bilingual studies.

I was mortified.

Anyway, I have more thoughts, but displaying them here would imply a deeper connection between you and I. I will, however, leave you with this:

Hysterical.

Today is the day I set aside every year to celebrate my birth. Some years, I’m home sharing it with my twin, some years I’m not. This year is a case of the latter. Today, on my 25th birthday, I am in Speculator.

Things I’m doing today:

• Studying my Bible
• Prepping some Bible lessons for next month
• Writhing in pain
• Shoveling 3 feet of wet, heavy snow
• Chipping away at 3 inches of ice underneath that snow
• Dinner at Tracy’s
• Catching up with friends after dinner

So for the most part, the day will be similar to other days off, except today I’m getting more emails and phone calls. I am forced, however (especially with the time it’s taking to chip away at ice), to remember my 24th year of life. The Lord has brought me through much, molded me greatly and sustained me every step of the way.

While I was in Africa, I spent most of my quite time reading through the Psalms. While I’m waiting for my Bible study to kick back up, I’ve continued this reading pattern. This morning, on December 27th, I read through the 27th Psalm. It’s always interesting when you find a section of scripture that you identify with. As a believer, those sections are everywhere and are particularly neat on your birthday:

Psalms 27
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
3 Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.
4 One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.
5 For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
6 And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD.
7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, Seek my face.
My heart says to you,
Your face, LORD, do I seek.
9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!

Cheers!

Enjoy!

In other news, my brain no longer feels like it’s yelling at itself. The story behind it may have to wait until September, when I’m no longer working 60-hour weeks.

Daddy: yer mean mom never sent the gps. I’ll do it tomoro
xtina: thanks. I’ll need it next weekend*
D: sorry…you want me send the mama day thing** back
x: Nope, she still gets it
D: whatever
D: I think yer trying to suck up to her…what are you fishing for?
x: Love and acceptance. And more blog comments.
D: Love and acceptance are free…
x: So are mothers day presents.
D: You have run circles around me logically
x: Thats what u sent me to school 4 right?
D: no……so you can support me in my dotage
x: Well u shouldnt have sent me 2 temple then. All they taught me was to talk in circles.
D: So go back and learn some other useless crap
x: If u pay 4 it.
D: Nope…run a fundraiser…maybe joe corbi pizza
x: Cheezy bread!
D: you gotta sell a butt-load of cheezy bread to pay  for more school…you better get started

*I don’t need it for directions; my dash won’t tell me the proper speed. I’m trying to exhaust all my options before buying a  new dash.

**Referring to the Mother’s Day present I just sent in the mail.

Those of you who know me personally will see where I get my sense of humor from.

Here’s the text, just in case you can’t read it above:

My friend Christina, do you know her?
She works at CAMP-of-the-WOODS
She is kind, she is nice, and extremely pretty
A snappy dresser
She often is seen with a fancy camera
Clicking and snapping pictures
And posting them on the website

Or perhaps putting them in fliers
And mailing them out
To all of the guests here at camp
To let them know what is new and improved

But there are some days
Where the camera she carries becomes a curse
Like when I get back from the Kunjamuk
And she points her camera at me

Don’t take my picture Christina!
The truth is that I look awful
My hair is windswept
There’s dirt on my nose
I need to shower
and change my clothes

But then the camera clicks
And there’s a flash
It’s too late, Christina has won
Maybe it will be in the Go Forth slideshow
Or in a brochure
A nice little CD for CAMP-of-the-WOODS

But one day
She’ll pick up from here and go overseas
To Africa, where she can rejoin her heart

(music crescendos)

There stands my hero Christina!
Who cares about the camera?
Her soul is gorgeous
Her smile can melt us
The point I’m making?
She shines like Jesus.

Found here, brought to you by.

10 Reasons the U.S.A. Could Beat Up Canada

1/17/2008

In my previous post I made the offhand remark that the United States could probably beat up Canada. Apparently this remark didn’t sit so well with some of my Canadian friends, who felt compelled to vigorously defend both their country and their honor.So, to settle the question once and for all, I put together this exhaustive, comprehensive, all-inclusive list, citing 10 reasons that the US of A could beat up Canada. Before I say any more, it should be noted that in the summer of 2003 I actually spent three months living in Canada, which practically makes me an expert on the country. So, without any further ado, here are my 10 reasons that the United States could put a beating on Canada.1. The front of our one dollar bill shows a picture of our fearless first president, George Washington, who gave the British a royal beat down. The front of the Canadian one dollar coin shows a picture of a duck. Actually it’s a loon, which is why the coin is called a “loonie”. Need I say any more?2. Two words: Chuck Norris

3. Canada is ruled by a queen. We on the other hand have a guy from Texas who likes to eat his meat raw. AND, our vice president is known for shooting people. I’ll take W over Queen Elizabeth in a cage match any day.

4. We have Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer, and Rocky. Canada has…mounties? You’d think they could at least come up with a better name.

5. The Canadian military currently has approximately 65,000 troops. The US has approximately 1.3 million. Of course our troops aren’t called “mounties”, which does make a significant difference.

6. A significant portion of our population enjoys watching race cars go in circles at 200 mph for up to 500 laps. That says dedication. This same population enjoys shooting things.

7. We invented the Big Mac, the Whopper, the Super Size, and the 64 oz Slurpee. Of course this is also why we need privatized health care, but that’s besides the point.

8. Unlike Canada, and the rest of the world, we refuse to go metric. We don’t want to use a system where everything divides nicely into 10′s, 100′s, and 1000′s. No, we would rather remember figures like 5,280 feet and 16 oz.

9. Our national anthem is entitled “The Star Spangled Banner”, a stirring title that evokes patriotism and pride from even the most cynical heart. The Canadians managed to come up with the creative title “O Canada” for their national anthem.

10. Us Christians carry around large, oversized study Bibles, that weigh somewhere between 50 and 300 pounds (not kilos). If necessary, these could be used as weapons (in a loving and gentle way).

Well, I think that settles it once and for all. A careful examination of the evidence clearly indicates that the United States could beat the bacon out of Canada if necessary. But we love our Canadian friends and only wish them the best. Just stay away from our Big Macs…

Posted by Stephen Altrogge at 8:40 PM

Top 10 Reasons the U.S.A. Could Never Lay a Beating on Canada

10. Americans are fatter than Canadians. Fully 50% of Americans are overweight compared to 33.33% of Canadians. That means we are faster and nimbler in close hand-to-hand combat. Not only that, but we take less time to eat so we don’t need as many soldiers.

 

9. Canadians spend 10 months of the year very cold. We know how to endure hardship and catch fish when there is ice.

 

8. Canadians are much quieter than Americans – ask any European! Thus, we can sneak up on people like fierce Ninja Warriors and take care of business. Chuck Norris makes more noise than a polar bear on steroids just walking to his car – easy target.

 

7. Have you ever fought a Queen? Crowns puncture.

 

6. Two words: Tim Horton’s

 

5. We have an endless supply of Maple Syrup, and as everyone knows, maple syrup comes from maple trees.

 

4. From an early age, all our young men are trained in the art of “jerseying.” For those of you who think you need to say the word, “ice” before “hockey,” that means flipping an opponents upper body outerwear over his head to cover his face in less than one quarter of a second. Obviously, this leaves the enemy combatant in a state of complete helplessness… a move I would be pleased to demonstrate on a young Altrogge as soon as possible.

 

3. Tim Challies. You think 1539 days of consecutive blogging is something? You haven’t seen anything yet. All we have to do is say the word and Tim will unleash his lightening fast hands to produce over 200 words per minute of new content onto the internet, thus crashing all U.S. military defense systems in less than 48 hours.

 

2. Everyone knows that Americans have very little sense of humour, so, in the event of an attempted beating we would simply bring all our Canadian comedians and artists back to Canada… and bore you to death. Well, almost all of our Canadian artists. You can keep William Shatner.

 

1. If you attempt to cross our long, undefended border, we will make you eat poutine. And visit Quebec.